Let’s Get Funky

Hello lovely readers, and thank you for patiently waiting for my next post in my long unforeseen absence. I plan to post more regular content from here forth. This is the perfect post to discuss being in a funk, as over the last month or so, it is what I have felt. So, some of you out there may have felt this as well.

What is a Funk?

When we have a state of mind that is complicated to describe in words, we usually use the term funk. Have you ever been in a dissociative state or just an utterly unmotivated robot? You shift through life, through your responsibilities, and you just can’t seem to get any of them done. They just seem mundane and lay in a mess, resembling the chaos that numbed your mind. You’re sad, but you don’t really know why. You seem to walk through the ocean, and finding direction in your life is hard. Well then, my friend, you are in a funk.

Where do we go from here? How do we get out of this? Funk is like a dissociative state. You are carrying out tasks on autopilot, and you don’t know why you are there and why you are responding or not responding the way you are. A Funk is an amalgam of an unknown, silent depression that often comes without reason. However, this funk rarely lasts forever. It goes away, and sometimes we find a reason for its disappearance, and sometimes we don’t. There isn’t often a cure for this. Just as there isn’t a “cure” for our emotions. Claiming there is one is but a scam, a false advertisement.

Treatments?

I will not tell you there is a cure or a trick to get out of this. There isn’t anything I can say that will spontaneously motivate you into your normal state of being. I can tell you it is shared, and it is common. This funk or silence can leave life without meaning. There are days, weeks, months, and even longer that we feel this way. When you are in it, you know you are in it. It may be perhaps all that you know and feel, but you aren’t sure how you got there and how you can get out. And if there was an immediate answer, we would have done it to get out of this state, yet this is the only thing any of us know. Of course, there are many things we can do to placate ourselves or let energy out, as I discussed in my, Feel it, don’t Live in its blog post. What do you do when you have no energy to let out? No way to feel something that isn’t there. When you live in silence, it can be excruciating yet completely paralyzing. How can it be excruciating yet painless? How do you treat nothing?

Each person has their own factors that play into the feelings within this funk and the ability to escape this terrible time. Just as there is often a reason, even subconsciously, there is also a way to get out of it that only the person themselves will know. I know this isn’t something you were expecting to hear. Sometimes there isn’t a concrete reason you are in the state you are in (break up, loss, pain, etc.), and sometimes, it is only as easy as it is for you to name what is wrong.

This is where it becomes hard to explain. You may have heard some version of the song “The sound of silence.” I prefer the rock cover by Disturbed. It is a song worth checking out because it can give you an idea of what this silence is like. Sometimes it is the loudest sound we can hear and can be deafening. For others, it can be the emptiest experience you feel. This is an excerpt that may sum up what I mean here:

““Fools,” said I, “You do not know

Silence like a cancer grows

Hear my words that I might teach you

Take my arms that I might reach you”

But my words, like silent raindrops fell

And echoed in the wells of silence.”

undefined [Disturbed]. “Disturbed  – the Sound of Silence [Official Music Video].” YouTube, 8 Dec. 2015, www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4.

Causes

Often, there cannot be treatment without an identifiable cause. I cannot tell you a way to escape this feeling of nothingness. This sadness. I cannot tell you to feel what you cannot process. What I can do is ask you to dig deeper. There may have been some trigger that caused your brain to shut down so that you don’t feel the pain from that situation or trauma. This is one of the main reasons, from my personal knowledge, that cause this dissociative state. How do we get out of this to find and process what triggered it when it is silent? There is no simple answer to this question. You don’t have to “feel” anything to go over your memories until you know how you fall into this deep robotic state. There may be a time when you look through this exhaustion, and something strikes you, and a bit of emotion shines through, and it may not, which is completely okay too. If the emotion, even just a sliver, peaks through, dig deeper into that feeling because you just might see that is where you can find the cause. It can be as simple as a word someone said to you, which spun around in you until it festered and became more. Or it can be as tricky as emotions or trauma you have continuously shoved down over years until it bubbled to the surface.

However, sadly, there may be no cause. We have discussed ways to find out what is causing this emptiness, but what if there really is nothing? Not just apathy, but nothing. You are a ghost, not a robot, just moving through life like a zombie. It can be difficult and, for some, impossible to escape this. This may be the point where you should share this with someone you trust or do something, anything that you can think of that can give you peace in this raging silence, a song, a comfortable blanket (weighted blankets are perfect for this), sounds, anything that can protect and help you. There may be no cause, or the emptiness is too loud; You can’t find a reason. However, you CAN do self-care. If you have to step out for five minutes, take a nap, cry, take a relaxing bath or watch a movie to help yourself, then this, my dear, is self-care. Protect and comfort yourself. It is entirely valid to be empty but not aware of why. It is okay to want to be alone and remain silent or open about it. Live how you feel the best and, for a moment, let the thoughts of others pass by and only tune into what you want and need at that moment.

The point?

The reason I call this a funk instead of just silence is because this is something that may come and go or stay. It is a sort of depression, if you will. It affects your mind and your body. If you can find something to get out of this funk, do it. If you can even find something to distract you from the mundane silence and emptiness you feel (chores, exercise, hobbies, interests, etc.), then do it. And if none of this works or helps, that is perfectly okay. Keep in mind that I am just a person like you. I can only go off of what I know personally. Many days I wake up, and I am not sure why, but I have diminished. Nothing, in particular, has caused this, but I float through the day avoiding interaction, seeking my oasis of silence and my dire need for escape. I may not have all the answers, and you may not find any solutions you hope to, but just know that I can relate, and it is deafening this silence that we feel. And when you are in it, you think you can’t get out of it.

The “I don’t know” answers given to others when you feel this way are frustrating, and you don’t truly understand why you are feeling the way you are. It is difficult, but we manage. Even if we don’t have an answer for those who want to support us. The best thing is to just feel the moment and let it pass. A talk, hug, song, friend, relative, game, or fresh air won’t always do the trick. Sometimes you have to be alone to understand how to feel okay. If there are moments when you think this impacts your life in a specific and deadly way, I would suggest seeing a therapist. Let me be the first to tell you that getting professional help is a sign of strength. It is hard to ask for help. Do not let others keep you front seeking it, even if that person is yourself.

A.F. Widener

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